Introducing your Tween to the Internet

Introducing your Tween to the Internet
By Z Padmore

Years ago, a bedroom telephone line was the rites of passage from child to adolescent. Parents trusted their tween with private phone calls in their bedroom. A parent knew it wasn't too much trouble a tween can get into in the downtime after dinner and before bedtime. If there were long distance charges, they would show on the bill, and the tween's private telecommunications gig was up.

Today, the Internet is the gateway from childhood to adolescence. GetNetWise, a website guide for parents, suggests prepubescents ages 12 through 14 are ready for independent access to the Internet. At this age, teens use the Internet as a social medium to connect to friends.

Below are tips to help you frame your own family's Internet usage guidelines.

Instructions

Step 1 
Add privacy controls. How many times have you searched for an item and ended up with a sexually suggestive ad? This may happen for child if you don't protect the privacy features. The top two browsers, Internet Explorer and Mozilla Firefox, have built-in privacy controls under their Tools section. Set the controls on medium to high so the browser can act as a filter, no matter what search engine is used.

Step 2
Create an email account. On the Internet, your child will require a web identity. Create an email account with your child and link it to your own account. This privacy control gives you access to their emails.

Unless they will be corresponding with their teachers, do not use their name as part of the user name. Fun user names like butterfly and batman, are acceptable for the tween demographic.

I recommend Gmail as the email account because this username has access to other popular networks, video sharing site Youtube and photo sharing site Picasa.

Step 3 
Set time limits. The average user spends three recreational hours per day on the Internet. Limit your child to no more than one hour a day. You may even break this up into twenty minute segments. You want your child to continue engaging in extracurricular activities. This limit ensures your child will spend more time engaging in social interactions offline.

Step 4
Restrict photo sharing to family and friends. Allow your tween to enter into social networks, but restrict what they can share. Make sure photos of family and friends are only accessible with a password. Do not allow them to post pictures that display identifying information in the background of the picture such as school names, address numbers and street signs.

Step 5 
Be a sleuth, not a snoop. There are two types of parents, those that ransack their tween's rooms for a journal and those that don't. If you are one of the former, this snooping behavior can extend to the web. Join your child's social network, but don't make your presence known. Try not to interact with your child there. You want them to be free to interact with others, while aware that you may see what they're sharing. In short, linger, but don't snoop.

Step 6
Become a guide. While you may be tempted to be a cool parent and make your presence known, your role is to guide your child in net etiquette. Communicate with your child primarily through email, not on their social networks. Send great content their way via links. Music, videos, articles, and pictures relating to their hobbies will prepare them to filter information. Though at this age, they will use the Internet as a social tool, you are teaching them to find and comment on relevant information.

Step 7 
Be aware of warning signs. Just like you ask identifying information about your child's friends, ask about their Internet friends. Ask about their parents, background, hobbies and other unique details.

Be wary of your child making friends on the Internet. Look out for warning signs of new relationships. For instance, new friends calling your home number or packages in the mail. If these are from names you're not familiar with, your child may be engaging in a relationship with an Internet friend.

The hope is that they will simply extend their social network to the Internet. Still, tweens are beginning adolescence where they may feel awkward and alone. Predators are always willing to play the role of caring counselor. Stay alert.

Step 8  Relax boundaries. Once you are confident that your child is using the Internet properly, give them some leeway. Relax time limits on the weekend or reward more time for completed homework and chores. Be creative. You want your child to use the Internet responsibility yet not rely on it as their primary social interaction.

Written by Z Padmore
View article - Introducing your Tween to the Internet